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What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot

What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot


Face-plant-vegan-fast-food_upr8vt What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot

If you were to guess where in Portland you could find a vegan burger designed by former Bon Appétit star Molly Baz, you might guess Buckman, the Pearl, maybe Alberta Arts. And yet, Face Plant sits in the entrance to industrial Swan Island, surrounded by ports, shipping centers, and trucking company Daimler. The vivid red and white building used to house a McDonald’s, but in February, the vegan restaurant took over, serving plant-based versions of burgers, nuggets, fries, and shakes.

Since opening, CEO and cofounder Matt Plitch—a Portlander and Nike alum—has stated his goal is to “take down McDonald’s.” He and Baz, Face Plant’s head of culinary development, envision Face Plant franchises across the country, replacing the meat-based industry and its outsize contribution to carbon emissions. But taking on a $200 billion–plus company is a daunting challenge—in various interviews, Plitch has stressed that the food needs to be affordable, it needs to be fast, and, most importantly, it needs to taste great.

Face Plant certainly meets two of those criteria: You can order one of everything on the menu for less than $70, and on a recent stop just after noon I waited maybe three minutes for my order while watching a steady stream of truckers in the drive-through. But is it delicious enough to conquer the goliath of the fast-food industry? Now that it’s had time to settle in and smooth out any culinary creases, I visited the Swan Island fast-food restaurant. Most of the short menu impressively mimicked the low-brow appeal of fast-food, though not every item is a runaway hit. Let’s break down what you should, or should not, order first.

Faceplant-vegan-fast-food-French-Fries_zaljxn What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot

Order: French Fries

Unless its name is In-N-Out, a fast-food restaurant is largely carried by its fries. Luckily, the ones at Face Plant deliver, with a golden crisp exterior that melts into fluffy, salty oblivion. When they hit the table (or, more likely, the passenger seat), they’re sturdy enough to act like a spoon for the thick shakes. They wilt a bit after cooling, but that’s the nature of any fry—within a few minutes of the deep fryer they can challenge any chain for fast-food fry supremacy.

Faceplant-vegan-fast-food-Red-_-Yellow-burger_tbpnmv What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot

Order: Red & Yellow

The workhorse of Face Plant, the Red & Yellow is an homage to the classic cheeseburgers found at McDonald’s or Burger King. A fluffy, seedless bun (from the same bakery that supplies In-N-Out) sandwiches the veggie patty, molten “cheese,” ketchup, and pickles. While the hand-formed patty won’t fool die-hard meat eaters, its texture is similar: A nice crust, charred from the hot grill, gives way to a soft, slightly crumbly interior, much like a smashburger. The Impossible Beef base gives it a bit of tackiness, and the natural savory notes of beef come from a blend of garlic and onion powders. Melting over the patty, the vegan cheese easily mimics American (already fairly processed), and the pickles have a satisfying crunch and subtle sweetness.

Skip: Double Red & Yellow

It’s cheaper to order a double than two burgers, but you’re better served by the latter. The double patty erases any illusions that you’re eating a real cheeseburger, and the vegetal richness overwhelms the other ingredients. Stick with the singles.

Order: Fancy and Double Fancy

If the Red & Yellow is the standard cheeseburger, the Fancy is the Whopper. The same patty and cheese rest on a bed of iceberg lettuce, tomato, raw onion, and pickles. It’s served on a larger, slightly lighter bun (still no sesame seeds) and spread with “fancy sauce,” your typical burger sauce of ketchup, mayo, and relish, veganized. Where it stands out is the quality of its produce: It’s not farm-to-table, but it is noticeably fresher and heartier than your average fast-food vegetable. The crisp lettuce, bright tomato, and tangy onion mean a double patty works well here; a double Fancy with a side of fries and a drink makes for a solid lunch for less than $15.

Faceplant-vegan-fast-food-Nuggets_fimu2e What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot

Order: Nuggets and the Nuggie

The challenge with many vegan substitutes is replicating the visceral sensation of eating meat. Imitating ground beef is one thing, but the texture of a steak or chicken breast is nearly impossible to reproduce with plant products. Enter the nugget: While some are made from cuts of deboned meat, if you’re getting it from a drive-through window, it’s likely going to be made with some kind of chicken paste that firms up in the fryer (or, more realistically, freezer). As disturbing as that reality is, it makes it an ideal item to veganize. You’d be hard-pressed to distinguish the ones at Face Plant from those at your favorite burger joint, except these are more heavily seasoned with onion and garlic powders. The Nuggie sandwich might be even better, a similar construction to the Fancy but with nugget sauce (which resembles a mustardy Carolina BBQ sauce) and a layer of soy mayo.

Faceplant-vegan-fast-food-Cold-Brew-Shake_polaj6 What to Order and What to Skip, at Portland’s Newest Vegan Fast-Food Spot

Shakes

Reportedly, the Face Plant team spent years dialing in the recipe for the four hand-spun shakes. Rather than using a soy, oat, or coconut base, they opted for pea protein—the resulting treats are more like a Frosty or McFlurry than a milkshake, easier to eat with a spoon (or better yet, fries) than a straw. While each has its own merits, there are some standouts.

Skip: Strawberry Shake

This was a rare miss, at least when compared to the other flavors. The smooth texture is nice and it avoids being saccharine, but the strawberry is too understated, despite being an actual strawberry purée. The problem comes from an obvious local comparison: This might stand up against a McDonald’s strawberry shake, but not one of Burgerville’s plant-based ones.

Skip: Coffee

If you’re looking for a caffeinated buzz, you could do worse than the coffee shakes at Face Plant. They reminded me of the bottled Starbucks frappuccinos I drank before I knew what a latte was. As a small dessert it would be passable, but I can’t imagine finishing the whole 16 ounces.

Order: Chocolate

Other than the fact it’s made with the unfortunately named pea milk, the chocolate shakes—which use Hershey’s chocolate syrup—are standard fare. The pea milk works well here; it balances out the sugar and assures that the drink is thick and creamy without being overly rich. 

Order: Vanilla

The best of the four, the vanilla comes through strong, with a balanced sweetness and silky texture. It evokes the classic soft serve found at fast-food chains and pizzerias.

The Verdict

With the closing of Gnarly’s in September (and the mediocrity of Next Level Burger), the city is ready for a dedicated vegan burger shop. And Baz and Plitch have built a solid foundation. The food here nails that fast-food version of tasty: cheap, quick, a little greasy, salty enough to need a big drink. And it manages it without using any animal product and by upping the quality across the board. The kitchen team hand forms every patty, hand spins every shake, and preps its produce daily rather than relying on pre-sliced tomatoes and lettuce. While the patties are made with Impossible Beef, Plitch and Baz spent years dialing in their own recipe for it, leading to a unique flavor and texture. 

The biggest drawback is, unsurprisingly, the location: Unless regularly near Swan Island, it would be hard to justify the drive for any fast-food burger, especially when local chains like Burgerville and Super Deluxe offer solid-to-impressive vegan options. But if/when more locations open, it will be an easy win for any road trip or late-night snack, its heart-shaped logo beckoning drivers from the highway for a quick, meat-free meal.  



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Author: Hey PDX

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